You may be wondering why I'm going to show you my cervix. What is this all about? There are probably 1000 reasons. I'll just tell you three. Reason number one: a cervix is such a beautiful thing and most people go through their whole lives and never get to see one. I'm really proud of mine, and I'd like to give that opportunity to anyone who'd like to have it.

Reason number two is, I find it's a lot of fun to show my cervix in little groups like this.

And reason number three is, I want to prove to some of the guys out there that there are absolutely no teeth inside there.

Do you all know what to look for?

(Annie holds up a diagram.)

In case you don't, I've drawn up a diagram of the female reproductive system. This is the vaginal canal. Let's all say that together, shall we? VAGINAL CANAL. This is the uterus. UTERUS. These are the Fallopian tubes. FALLOPIAN TUBES. And this is the where the cervix is located. It's represented by the light pink magic marker. I was just in Holland and I learned how to say cervix in Dutch. It's Baarmoedermond. BAARMOEDERMOND.

What you're going to look for is actually this, only smaller. The way we're going to do this is really simple. I have a standard gynecological speculum, just like they use in the doctor's office.

(Annie inserts speculum.)

It doesn't hurt at all. It actually feels kind of cool and nice. The speculum opens up the vaginal canal. (To the audience) You can all breathe. It's just amazing how tight that pussy is after all these years. I have a flashlight here. If any of you would like to come up and take a look at the Baarmoedermond, you can. Please form a line here. You have to get down low to see it.

(Annie chats with the audience, answers questions, asks them to describe it to the rest of the audience, etc.)

(After the last person in the line has seen her cervix, Annie removes speculum.)

Wasn't that fun? I take fun and pleasure very seriously. There's so much pain and suffering in the world. I believe that we have to consciously balance those scales with as much pleasure and joy and ecstasy as we possibly can. There's a saying that I really love, "When a butterfly flaps its wings in Japan, it can cause a hurricane in New York." It has actually been scientifically proven that on some level we are all connected. That means that as you experience pleasure, I can feel it. And as I experience pleasure and ecstasy, the whole universe feels it, too. That's why my motto is, let there be pleasure on earth and let it begin with me.

We're going to take an intermission. That will give you all time to come up and use the toilet, if you want to. I'm going to stay up here. I'll be doing "Tits On Your Head Polaroids." They are $5. If you want to come up and have your picture taken with my tits on your head, please do. You can take it home with you as a little souvenir.

Thank you.

INTERMISSION (Tits On Your Head Polaroids.) (Music plays continuously.)