Now, don't I look like a porn star? Another fun thing about being in porn is I got to try things I would normally never have tried. We had some wonderful props and I've brought some of my favorites to share with you. Like this one.

(Annie holds up a dildo.)

This is a very realistic looking little dildo. And as you can see, it has a suction cup on the end. You just lick that and it sticks right up on your refrigerator so you can fuck your refrigerator. It is so cool! Now, if you'd like to see me in action with the refrigerator, check out the film Wet Christmas.

(Annie holds up another sex toy.)

You know what that is, don't you?

(No one answers.)

They sell millions of these. I know some of you have them. This is the plastic pussy. Doesn't it look real? The guy puts his cock in here and you simply squeeze this part here and it squirts! It either pees or ejaculates, whichever you prefer.

But you know, not all guys like pussy, right? Some guys like other parts of the body. There is something for everyone. Like this, the plastic foot.

(Annie holds up a plastic foot; then a series of sex toys as mentioned in her dialogue.)

In porn guys get to wear really great outfits, too. Like this little giraffe G-string. It looks so erotic! Or something like this. Do you know what these are? Cock cages. These look great on a guy and they are only $12.95 and come in seven different colors!

But, without a doubt, this is always the most popular. You know what this is. Yes, it's a gas mask. If you haven't used one sexually, this is how it works. You strap this on the guy's head and then put him in bondage. You tie him up so that he can't move his hands and he can't get away. Then you start teasing and playing and arousing and turning him on and right at that moment when he's about to explode in orgasm you quickly take this part off and you put your hand over this hole and HE CAN'T BREATHE! They love it! They always come back for more of the gas mask.

This last item is a lovely little delicate, golden dildo. You can use it for your fucking and when you're all done fucking you can use it to put your shoes back on! It's a dildo shoehorn.

There are so many great toys to play with. But you know, my favorite toy of all is the camera. I think of the camera as a kind of sex toy because cameras and sex just go together so well. I thought, maybe, we could do a little photo shoot for those of you who brought your cameras. I could do some special poses. Would you like that? Come on up here. Get closer. I'll run through some of the more popular poses.

(Annie does several poses, asking the audience for ideas.)

Do these look familiar? Here's one for the video cameras. Give me those big hard German Nikon lenses. Oooh! Ahhhh! That's good! You don't need film. I'm getting so hot! I could come.

(Annie begins to act out a silly, phony porno orgasm and suddenly stops.)

Is this legal in (name of city)? Maybe we better stop. Thank you all so much. What a wonderful group of photographers.

(Annie crosses back to the vanity and drops the "silly" attitude.)

It's fun, it really is. I don't know why people seem to take that kind of thing so seriously. Posing for smutty pictures is fun. You don't need any special skills or talents. Anyone can do it. You can see it's in the hair, the shoes, the makeup and the attitude. Of course, the lighting is important. I'd like to show you some women I've been photographing in my studio who wanted to explore their porn-star personas.