The Bosom Ballet is a performance in which I stretch, pinch, squeeze, twist, rock, roll, and jiggle my breasts to music, usually “The Blue Danube Waltz,” under a pink spotlight. I wear opera-length black gloves and a tutu. Over the years I have also done various other styles of bosom dance. There was the Bosom Tap Dance, which I performed in a nightclub off Broadway. I glued taps all over my boobs and fingertips and amplified the sound as I tapped away. Then there was the Bosom Ballet Folklorico I did to Peruvian music at a party on Puerto Rican day.

In Slovenia, home to Lawrence Welk’s forebears, I did the Bosom Polka with a real live polka band on national television. (On the same show—Slovenia’s version of the David Letterman Show—my girlfriend Kimberley Silver and I performed Slovenia’s first televised lesbian kiss.) In Berlin, I did the Bosom Samba with a live samba band in a football stadium during half-time (something I would never be allowed do in the U.S.A.).The Bosom Ballet can be viewed in several movies, on the cover of the European edition of The History of the Breast, on a fancy poster by Art Unlimited, in a photo illustration in a Japanese magazine, next to Edward Weston’s photos in a classy Aperture photography book called Master Breast, and in a limited-edition black-and-white photographic work in art galleries. The Bosom Ballet was hands-down my most successful and versatile multimedia whore project.

High-quality, limited edition photographic series available from Aeroplastics Gallery.