as seen in XXXOOO Volume 1 available in the Sprinkle Shoppe
To take this quiz, it's best to print it out and self-score. Don't forget, you can check more than one box on any question!
1. Which of the following elements have you incorporated into your lovemaking?
2. How many people have you had sex with? (Check only one.. they're all perfect scores!)
- 1 - 20
- 21- 2,000
- 2,001 - 10,000
- over ten thousand served
3. Which of the following drawings best charts orgasms that you've experienced?
4. Which of the following have you tried:
- celibacy without masturbating
- celibacy with masturbating
- monogamy (more or less)
- wholehearted whoredom
5. Have you ever:
- had a "megagasm" lasting five minutes or longer.
- had a breath or energy orgasm without genital stimulation (with or without ejaculation)
- had orgasms in your nipples or ears (eargasms)
- dedicated orgasmic energy to create magic so a dream or wish would come true
- celebrated Cosmic Orgasm Awareness week
- none of the above, but would like to
6. Have you ever had a sexual experience which lasted:
- 30 seconds
- three minutes
- a day or longer
- your whole lifetime
7. Are you now or have you ever been:
- gay, lesbian, queer, het or bi
- a M2F TS F2M TV (male to female transsexual female to male transvestite)
- trysexual - "I'll try anything"
8. During lovemaking, which archetypes have you personified?
- the shy librarian
- the sexual healer
- the cruel enema nurse
- the jaded fag disco queen
- the Goddess Kali
- the nymphomaniac french maid from Tijuana
9. Have you ever experimented with or would you be interested in experimenting with:
- being a drag queen or drag king for a day
- decorating your breasts and/or genitals in creative, colorful and amusing ways.
- using your nipple as a rubber stamp
- the erotic massage techniques known as: "knock knock knocking on the g-spot's back door" "over eggs easy" and "rock around the clit clock"
10. Have you ever:
- donated a mercy fuck
- been a pleasure activist
- danced a bosom ballet or bosom ballet folklorico.
- performed an art piece where turned yourself into a sprinkling sparkling fountain -- doing a shoulder stand and peeing six feet into the air
11. Have you ever tried or would you like to try:
- SEX ONE, SEX TWO and SEX THREE
- SEVEN CHAKRA SEX
- a masturbatorium ritual
- sex on the astral plane
12. Have you ever
- passed through a cervix
- Looked at a cervix with a flashlight
- seen Annie Sprinkle's cervix during her one-woman show
- seen Annie's cervix on the intervaginal super highway, at this site!
13. When you make love, which of the following animals could you be compared to?
- a roaring lion
- a fluttering butterfly
- a woodpecker
- the slow-moving lorax
- a fish out of water
- Mickey Mouse
14. Which of the following would you consider doing to raise money for a good cause?
- appearing nude in a pin-up calendar.
- making and selling tit prints
- giving hickeys in a hickey booth ($25 each)
- posing for polaroid photos with your breasts on top of people's heads - $10 a pop.
15. Which illustration best represents your personal sexual evolution?
16. BONUS QUESTION You are at the Metamorphosex Institute Awards Ceremony. Which special prizes do you win?
- tantric yogi of the year
- most imaginative use of safer sex
- most likely to suck
- sexy book buyer of the year
To compute your score:
Count the number of boxes you checked. This is your MQ!
If you scored 0 to 20
You are metamorphosexless. You may have a wonderful, satisfying sex life, and you're perfect just the way you are. However, you and your lover(s) could benefit if you expanded your horizons. There are so many angles from which to view sexuality, there is so much to learn, and there are so many amazing and fascinating things to try, why limit yourself?
If you scored 21 to 40
You are a passionate metamorphosexual. Be proud! Many of the world's most exciting, smart, rich, famous, and creative people are metamorphosexual too. Scientists believe that you were probably born with a metamorphosexual chromosome which makes you inclined to go through lots of phases and changes in your personal sexual evolution. You are fun, open-minded, honest with yourself and others, and very metamorphosexy!
If you scored 41 to 63
You are an experienced metamorphosexologist. You understand that sexuality is not only something that can be used for the enhancement of an intimate relationship, for physical pleasure or procreation; it can be used for personal transformation, physical and emotional healing, self-realization, spiritual growth and as a way to learn about all life and death. Because of your sexual self-knowledge and experience, you have become a person who has the potential to contribute greatly to your friends and family, to your community, and to the well being of all life on earth.
If you scored 64 to 66
You are probably Annie Sprinkle herself, or one of her very close friends.